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jokes
Sept 2, 2005 14:40:06 GMT -5
Post by soldier on Sept 2, 2005 14:40:06 GMT -5
i better like em or i will eat you children carve out ur organs nail u to a post light you on fire piss on ur ashes and throw them in the garbage
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jokes
Sept 2, 2005 16:50:53 GMT -5
Post by Daniel Mushahsd on Sept 2, 2005 16:50:53 GMT -5
A guy walks into a bar.....
DONK!!!
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jokes
Sept 2, 2005 18:15:15 GMT -5
Post by soldier on Sept 2, 2005 18:15:15 GMT -5
f u this is for real jokes
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jokes
Sept 2, 2005 19:32:18 GMT -5
Post by Daniel Mushahsd on Sept 2, 2005 19:32:18 GMT -5
You can swear now, I got rid of all the editation... you can say fuck you now.
Ok...
This guy wins a raffle.. when his prize arives, to his horror, it's a full grown elephant. Chained in the back yard, this elephant starts costing him hundreds of dollars a day to feed and care for. He's going bankrupt as he calls zoos, circuses, ANYONE who could take the elephant. One night, as he's debating to kill the dang thing before he's out of money, he relizes, he's never seen an elephant jump. He's seen them lift one leg... 2 legs... at the circus, he's even seen them on 1 leg.. but he's never seen an elephant JUMP. So he gets a great idea and puts an ad in the paper: ANYONE WHO CAN MAKE MY ELEPHANT JUMP WINS $5,000 $100 A TRY The next morning, there is a huge line of people outside his home. He takes money and watches as people hold up mice, shout, pray, beg... nothing makes the elephant move. He's laughing at his smarts when he has $3000 in his pocket by 10am, and this guy pulls up. "can I try?" the guy says. "sure, 100 bucks" he tells him. The guy pays him and goes to his car. After taking out a crow bar, he walks over and stares into the face of the elephant. After 5 min of this, he walks around back, cocks back with the crow bar, and WHAM hits the elephant right in the nuts. The elephant lets out a mighty scream as it jumps about 5 feet into the air. Now the guy is down about 2000 bucks, not only that, but still has to care for this damn eleaphant. Reading a book on elephants a couple days later, he reads how because of thier bone struckture, elephants can't turn thier head to the side. This is due to the fact that they but heads with other elephants, so thier neck is very ridgid! The guy takes out another ad in the paper ANYONE WHO CAN MAKE MY ELEPHANT TURN IT'S HEAD TO THE SIDE WINS $100,000 $1000 A TRY The line is even longer the next day... within an hour he's got over 20 THOUSAND dollars... the guy is GIDDY with laughter at his good fortune. ABOUT TIME this payed off he thought. The same guy pulls up, and asks if he can try. "OF COURSE!" the guy laughs, thinking he can now get some of his money back from the guy who won it before. The guy goes to his car, and pulls out a crow bar... He goes to the elephant and stares it in the face for about 5 min Then the guy says... "remember me?" The elephant nods it's head up and down "want me to do it again?"
The guy had to pay up
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jokes
Sept 2, 2005 20:30:42 GMT -5
Post by soldier on Sept 2, 2005 20:30:42 GMT -5
haha nice
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simwu
Junior Member
Posts: 53
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jokes
Sept 3, 2005 4:38:31 GMT -5
Post by simwu on Sept 3, 2005 4:38:31 GMT -5
LMAO!!!
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jokes
Sept 4, 2005 1:44:03 GMT -5
Post by Twistyville on Sept 4, 2005 1:44:03 GMT -5
lol all that reading i was expecting something alittle better
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jokes
Sept 5, 2005 13:34:12 GMT -5
Post by milwdavex on Sept 5, 2005 13:34:12 GMT -5
lol all that reading i was expecting something alittle better c'mon TWist, you do better then. Bad joke, but it's still a good one: A guy and his wife have 2 great looking kids. The both model for childrens clothing ads and all that. The wife is pregnant with the 3rd child right now. She starts going into labor and the man drives her to the hospital. After 5 hours of labor, the wife finally gives birth to a baby girl. The doctor hands the baby to the husband. He looks at the baby and gets a shocked look on his face. "Honey, this is terrible! Our baby is hidious! She's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" he takes another look at the baby, "I gotta know, since she's nothing like our other babies, have you been cheating on me?!" The wife is a little shocked but hangs her head in shame for a momment. She looks up at the husband "Not this time"
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FlaMe
New Member
Posts: 9
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jokes
Sept 5, 2005 18:09:33 GMT -5
Post by FlaMe on Sept 5, 2005 18:09:33 GMT -5
Some of you may have heard this already and i may have told you guys this..
Ne ways..
1 day there, while sitting at a bar, a guy is approached by a women who notices him fiddling with his watch. She says, "Nice watch you got there."
He replies, "Yep brand new it can do alot of things besides tell time."
The woman curious to find out more asks, "Like what?"
"Well for instance it tells me the weather, local and world news, stock and financial reports and things like that."
"Wow, thats nice."
"Yep, it also tells me your not wearing any panties right now."
Suddenly swept off her feet she replies, "UHM! Excuse me, but I am wearing panties under this..."
The man replies, "DAMN! its an hour fast"
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jokes
Sept 5, 2005 18:16:36 GMT -5
Post by milwdavex on Sept 5, 2005 18:16:36 GMT -5
lol, nice
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jokes
Sept 5, 2005 18:17:08 GMT -5
Post by Daniel Mushahsd on Sept 5, 2005 18:17:08 GMT -5
ha ha ha ha ha
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jokes
Sept 6, 2005 3:17:33 GMT -5
Post by Twistyville on Sept 6, 2005 3:17:33 GMT -5
A third grade teacher decides to test her students ability to recognise objects from a descrition. She says to the class, " Im holding an object behind my back that is round, red, and u can eat it.' Suzie says, " Miss, Thats an apple.' Very good suzie, that shows your thinking.' replies the teacher. Now im holding something that is yellow and long and can be eaten.' David says " thats a bannana miss!" Very good David, that shows your thinking.' replies the teacher Johnny puts his hand up and asks for a turn and the teacher lets him have a go..
"Im holding something under my desk... It is thin, an inch long, and has a red head." Thats disgusting says miss Johnny smartly replies " No miss its a match but it shows your thinking"
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jokes
Sept 6, 2005 3:18:44 GMT -5
Post by Twistyville on Sept 6, 2005 3:18:44 GMT -5
Whats 10 inches long, 2 inches wide and starts with a P???
Give Up
A really Fucken Good Shit
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jokes
Sept 6, 2005 3:25:10 GMT -5
Post by Daniel Mushahsd on Sept 6, 2005 3:25:10 GMT -5
You fucked up that match joke you stupid aussy.
the good shit one was funny though, so I won't kill you. yet.
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jokes
Sept 6, 2005 4:15:23 GMT -5
Post by Twistyville on Sept 6, 2005 4:15:23 GMT -5
Howd i fuck it up?? With the through the pocket bit?? Shall change it
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